


Exo Oneshots

by ObliviatedSoul



Category: EXO (Band), NCT (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst, Body Dysphoria, Eating Disorders, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Multi, One Shot Collection, Other, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, depends on requests/the one shot, will add more tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:41:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28499232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObliviatedSoul/pseuds/ObliviatedSoul
Summary: This is were i'll be posting the oneshots I write, mostly will be Exo based but also probably some other bands like NCT, BTS,,,etcI'm taking requests! (please send some, I want to write, lol) so feel free to leave comments or message me for one! Thank you!
Relationships: BTS ARMY(s)/EXO-L Fanclub, Bangtan Boys | BTS Ensemble & Other K-pop Artist(s), Bangtan Boys | BTS Ensemble/EXO Ensemble, Bangtan Boys | BTS Ensemble/Reader, Byun Baekhyun/Reader, EXO Ensemble/EXO Ensemble, EXO Ensemble/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. Welcome Home

**Author's Note:**

> So, I wrote this one a bit ago, after Minseok's vlive back on December 12th, I posted it on another site but decided to also post it here. I'm so happy he's back, aren't you? hope you enjoy and feel free to send in requests!

_“How are you feeling, Hyung?” A voice asked softly, bringing Minseok out of his aimless thoughts fueled by the ever-increasing anxiety, excitement and longing that filled my heart._

_Turning towards the voice, there stood Kyungsoo leaning against the doorway, his head tilted, his ever-observant eyes boring into his older member’s cat-like eyes._

_A disheartened frown tugged Minseok’s lips as shrugged softly, avoiding his gaze as he re-folded the same shirt for what felt like the thousandth time,_

_“It doesn’t feel real” he admitted softly “Time has gone by so slow yet in the blink of an eye at the same time.” The cat-eyed man laughed quietly, finally setting down the folded shirt into suitcase making sure it was organized perfectly._

_“I’m happy to be back with ExoL’s but I’m nervous at the same. What if they’ve abandoned me?” the question was blurted out before he could stop himself, insecurities rising up from within as his fingers continued to fidget in anxious energy._

_“I’m not…like the rest. If it were Baekhyun or Jongin…anyone else other than me, I know without a doubt they’d never be left behind but I’m not them, I’m just me-“_

_“Hyung” Kyungsoo’s voice cut him off mid spiral, the younger males voice firm but his touch gentle as his hand gripped his Hyung’s shoulder. Hesitantly Minseok looked back up into his intense gaze. Kyungsoo’s brows furrowed in disbelief and also understanding._

_“Hyung, Don’t let those thoughts consume you. Exo-L loves you just as much. We wouldn’t be Exo without you. You haven’t- and never will be- left behind or forgotten.” He muttered softly; voice full of conviction of the words he spoke._

_“Just you wait, Hyung, Exo-L will poor out so much love you’ll have to try and not drown” he finished, a small but genuine smile forming on his heart-shaped lips._

_Minseok couldn’t help but let a small smile of his own form, Kyungsoo always knew what to say. Even if he didn’t speak as often, when he did it, well it was priceless and Minseok always cherished it. Like he did for all his members-_

_His brothers, His family._

_“Aish, your always so good to your Hyung, Kyungsoo-ah. What am I going to do without you when I leave?” he questioned, he and the younger male had roomed together during his duration in the military and they had gotten even closer than he thought possible during their time there._

_Kyungsoo’s smile only broadened as he left out an amused huff._

_“You make it sound like this is goodbye forever, Don’t worry Hyung, I’ll be following you back before you know it” He promised, pausing for a moment in thought before adding;_

_“Though, I’ll miss the peace once we’re back” He muttered, rolling his eyes amusedly. I simply laughed in response_

_“You know you love you chaotic brothers” Kyungsoo didn’t respond but simply nodded his head, another soft smile gracing his heart-shaped lips._

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

_Even that memory felt like a lifetime ago, it was already December 12th, In a few moments it would be Minseok’s first being with Exo-l’s since he left for his enlistment. How he wished another member could have been here with him._

He was so awkward on his own- or so he felt- and didn’t want to let anyone down. He breathed in deeply, in and out, several times before gently slapping his cheeks.

“You can do this” He muttered to himself. His heart was racing, he wasn’t able to sleep whatsoever the previous night in anticipation for this moment.

“Are you ready Xiumin-ssi?” One of the crew members asked, breaking him out of internal-monologue. Minseok took in one last steadying breath before willing his gummy smile appeared in full force

“Let’s do this!”

_______________________________________________________

The Vlive had started about 20 minutes ago, Minseok was in shock when he had first started only to see that the ‘hearts’ count was already above one million. His heart clenched, the sting of tears threatening to make an appearance.

He had quickly brought himself under control, his love for Exo-L’s continuing to swell as he went on, reading comments and the overwhelming love and support he was witnessing.

He truly didn’t deserve it, but welcomed it all the same.

_____________________________________________________

The next moment that nearly brought him to tears was when Jongin had suddenly appeared, bringing with him a beautifully made cake saying, “welcome back Xiumin!”

Despite having been discharged for six days, the dark-eyed man hadn’t been able to meet with any of the members, the days went in a whirlwind, but my heart desperately longed for my brothers. So, the moment Jongin had set the cake down, I pulled him into a back-breaking hug.

Jongin, always fighting back his emotions, returned the hug full force. He was such a gentle soul and when I had left for my enlightenment- as each member who had now gone for there’s- he wasn’t able stop his tears.

Our Nini was too precious for this world.

With the teddy-bear like man by his side, he felt the tension in his shoulders slowly disappear and his gummy smile form in full force, He was really here in this moment with Exo-L’s and his precious dongsaeng.

When he and Jongin start the ‘Xiumin tournament’ , he couldn’t help the automatic negative feeling that pooled deep within him. Though he had come far and worked hard to be healthy both physically and mentally,

whenever he saw pictures from past moments- the one’s with his dumpling cheeks that had caused snide remarks and hurtful feelings or the ones where he was so thin, he looked sick and his eyes dull and lifeless- It made him want to just burn it all.

He breathed in deeply, knowing he would never be able to please everyone, that just wasn’t possible. However, before he could help himself, as if he had no filter-

“Ah, this was back when I was good at dieting” He laughed awkwardly, Ignoring Jongin’s subtle frown at his Hyung’s obvious self-deprecation. As they continued on with the game, more comments of the same underlying self-loathing forced itself out of his mouth.

“I’ll get better at dieting again!” followed with a strained smile

“I need to get back my will for dieting” A nervous laugh, ignoring Jongin’s rebuttals about how his Hyung was “cute” and “youthful”

Bracing himself for the worst, He risked a glance at the flowing comments on the Vlive, almost immediately he felt his throat tighten and his eyes stung as he read the words scrolling through.

**_“You’re beautiful just the way you are, Minseok!”_ **

This isn't good

**_“No! Please don’t diet. Be happy!”_ **

This was too much for him,for his heart

**_“We love you, Oppa! We are one!”_ **

Part of him wanted to scream, tell them to stop- stop lying.

**_“I’m so glad you’re back! I’ve missed your gummy smile <3ヾ(≧ ▽ ≦)ゝ ”_ **

He wanted to tell them their kind words hurt him, down to his very core.

**_“Please take care of yourself! We love you, always!❤❄”_ **

He couldn't handle it, he didn't deserve this love, this kindness.

**_“Have you met with the other members yet? I want to see you all together again 😭“_ **

It made his heart feel so heavy, so very heavy

**_“Baekhyun-oppa tweeted he missed you, has he been to see you yet??”_ **

He could barely breathe, he was suffocating.

Minseok had to tear his eyes away from the overwhelming comments, all the surge of love and acceptance was more then he could bear. Huffing out a small laugh, a smile made its way back onto his face-albeit a little teary-eyed-

“Yah! Baekhyun-ah should be here if he misses me! He has some explaining to do” a playful response that caused the comment section to irrupt in Exo-L’s calling out for Baekhyun and the rest of the members to join his Vlive.

**He.Didn’t.Deserve.This.Love.**

____________________________________________________________

All to soon, Jongin had took his leave, but not before the older of the two hauling him in for another needy hug. As if fearing this was all a dream and when he awoke, He’d still be at the military base and still oh so far from precious Exo-L’s and his brothers.

Not that his time had been horrid there, he had been surrounded by kind and hard working people and he was proud to serve his country, but more often then not he felt lost and lonely. He always felt so much strength from his members and Exo-L’s so when he was without them, he felt dulled and vulnerable,

But he was strong for them, waiting for the day they would reunite and after what felt like an eternity of hardship, loneliness and darkness- He had made it and he was now here with them.

________________________________________________________________________________

Time had passed by much to fast for Minseok’s liking, and Exo-L’s apparently felt the same. Despite his ongoing battle with heavy thoughts and feelings, he cherished this time with them.

Though he wished to be able to meet them face to face, in this current world that wasn’t possible and more than anything he wanted them all to keep safe and healthy.

So, he was grateful that they could still at least meet online and how much technology had truly grown and the opportunities it brought along with it.

He had sung for them, read their love letters-which again almost caused him to breakdown in tears- played games with Jongin and then read his own letter he had written to all of them. He felt his cheeks flush when he wore the flower crown, tiara and then followed by the present bunny ears atop his head.

The comments continually writing out praise, how cute he was, most making nicknames based up snow and frost. How much detail they took in everything they did never ceased to amaze him; He would never be able to truly describe the feelings it brought with it in words.

His gaze slowly gazed through the comments, occasionally reading some out loud. He was surprised once more when he saw the ‘hearts’ were at nearly 360million,

**Exo-L’s were truly precious.**

“Ah…It doesn’t feel like that much time has passed and yet it’s already time to end” He pouted, eyes scanning the rapid-fire replies.

“Thank you all so much for being here with me. Thank you for waiting for me and not leaving me behind” He cleared his throat when it became strained.

“I promise to work hard for you all now that I’m back! So please continue to stay by my side, please also continue to take care of yourselves! Your health and happiness are so important…Continue to wear your masks and wash your hands…I don’t want any of you hurting or sick and be kind to not only yourself but to others as well”

He made eye contact with the camera, hoping his sincerity would be felt through the lens. He breathed in softly, both throwing out heart fingers and his gummy smile on display

“Saranghae!!⁓ I love you Exo-L! Let’s all move forward together, alright? We are one!” He called out, forming more hearts with his hands until finally the camera had turned off and the Vlive was officially over.

________________________________________________________________

The moment he had finished, and the crew gave him the go-ahead to leave he bolted out of the studio, no longer able to fight the suffocating swirl of emotions that weighed him down.

They weren’t bad, perse, but it was a lot. Many different emotions swirling together causing a dangerous storm within Minseok’s fragile heart. He wasn’t sure how he had made it back to his apartment, but was thankful for it nonetheless, Slowly the emotionally drained idol unlocked his front door and shuffled inside, locking it once more while stepping out of his shoes.

Before he was even able to comprehend what was happening, the light flooded on causing his eyes to squint in irritation and the silence was broken by loud voices shouting and what sounded like little confetti poppers-

He was going to **loathe** cleaning that up later-

**“Welcome Home Minseok-Hyung!”**

A group of voices called out in unison, five bodies colliding into each other in the narrow hallow way, I watched, Speechless as they rushed forward-

Except for Jongin who was setting down another cake- why so many cakes?- before joining the puppy pile of limbs that tackled the stunned male into an all-consuming group hug.

“W-what?” he spluttered; voice still thick with raw emotion. As he finally pulled back from the tangle enough to see the excited happy grins of his brothers.

Yixing, who despite warning the others “Please don’t break our Hyung” still smiled brightly like the unicorn he was.

Chanyeol, the happy virus, laughing at the shock that must have shown on his Hyung’s face.

Jongin, A sneaky grin plastered onto his handsome face, Minseok not doubting that he knew of this plan the whole time.

Sehun, still the ever-bratty maknae, complaining that he was being crushed- but laughed through it all the same.

And of course, Baekhyun, who as always resembled an excited little puppy as he had the tightest grip on his Hyung, his smile so wide and happy Minseok was slightly concerned it would split his face in half.

“Surprise! Hyung!” said puppy called out happily, “We missed you so much!”

“We watched your Vlive Hyung, Exo-L’s were so happy to see you I thought they were going to spontaneously combust!” Chanyeol laughed as the group finally started to untangle themselves from the hug pile and make their way into the sitting room.

“It was so hard to wait, even Lay was even able to fly out to join us tonight!” Jongin called out happily

“We brought lots of food Hyung!” Yixing smiled, his dimples popping out as he did so, Minseok looked over the dinning table to see it almost overflowing with different food and drinks. A “Welcome Home” banner hanging over the entry way as they passed.

He had remained silent, watching in them in shock and awe at this truly unexpected surprise. Shit, he felt more tears threatening to spill, what the hell. Why was he so emotional tonight?

“Are you alright?” Baekhyun asked from beside him, worriedly. His sweet puppy eyes scanning his Hyung as he fought to control another surge of emotions.

Slowly, he took a steadying breathe. Squashing down the screaming thought that had plagued him since his discharge.

He thought back to Kyungsoo’s words, to the heartfelt comments of Exo-L’s, to his brother’s genuine excitement and happiness of his return. There was so much love gripping his heart so tightly that it _hurt_.

**It hurt so fucking much he thought he would explode.**

But he found it wasn’t a bad kind of hurt necessarily, though terribly overwhelming.

So, he embraced these emotions that caused havoc in his soul and the tension in his body slowly melted as a genuine gummy smile slowly spread across his lips. His eyes swelling with tears that was both overwhelmed but happy.

_**This wasn’t a dream, He was here, in this moment with his loved ones and with his precious Exo-L’s. He longed for the time when all members would be reunited but for this moment-** _

_**He was home, his heart no longer feeling as lost and lonely. Perhaps he would come to except the fact he did deserve this love, this happiness.** _

**_Perhaps one day._ **

“Ne, I’m alright Baekhyun-ah, thank you- all of you…I’m so happy to be home again…” He paused, sucking in a deep breathe as his voice began to tremble as another round heavy tears dripping down his cheeks that he didn't even try to bother and hide them, but he still held his smile as he lunged towards the group once more, pulling them all into another bone crushing hug.

No one questioned his actions, happily returning their Hyung’s desperate hug with their own and simply enjoying the silent moment filled with warmth and contentment.

“Thank you…” Minseok whispered once more.

**_“Thank you for waiting for me”_ **


	2. The Fallen (pt.1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baekhyun x reader Jedi AU, it was getting to long so there might be one or two more parts to this.

[](https://imgur.com/3WMkFH9)

**_‘I was your cure And you were my disease. I was saving you, But you were killing me’_ **

_____________________________________________________________________________

_They say that history has a way of repeating itself, Baekhyun didn’t understand at the time just how true those words would come to be. How he desperately wishes he had seen the warning signs, because maybe then he would have been able to save them, to save **her**._

____________________________________________________________________________

Baekhyun found himself walking along the corridors of the Jedi temple, the moonlight shining his way through the quiet halls. He along with several other Jedi has just gotten back from a particularly difficult mission that left him feeling unsettled…almost doubting certain things and he knew that could lead himself down a dangerous path.

After hours of trying to meditate he just wasn’t able to focus and so that’s how he found himself at his current attempt to clear and ease his mind. The blue-eyed male was so lost in his thoughts he failed to hear the footsteps approaching him, until a hand suddenly clasped onto his shoulder causing him to shriek in surprise.

Laughter filled his ears as he whirled around trying-and failing- to look angry. “No matter how many times I do this, you always freak out” the female replied, voice filled with mirth, her long auburn hair swaying as she shook her head. Baekhyun’s lip twitched in amusement, rolling his eyes at her antics.

“Ember, you’ve done this since we were younglings, don’t you grow tired of your pranks?” He asked, though he didn’t want to admit, he loved her childlike humor- despite all they had since during their time training and becoming Jedi, she still had a kind and loving heart. Finding joy in the simplest of things.

“I couldn’t help it, you looked so forlorn…I saw the others when they got back but you had disappeared…I was worried” She admitted quietly, voice becoming somber as she scanned his gaze, He had to turn away, feeling much to vulnerable with her searching eyes boring into his own. Slowly the usually energetic male shrugged numbly, gaze distant as he thought about what he, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo had witnessed, it shouldn’t have affected him so much- it wasn’t something they hadn’t seen before- but he wore his heart on his sleeve and more times than not it came back to bite him in the ass.

The pair found themselves in the courtyard of the temple, wordlessly sitting under the large tree that sat in the middle. For a few moments, neither of them spoke, simply enjoying the peaceful quiet that the night usually offered.

“We failed them” He suddenly gritted out; voice easily carried away by the soft wind hid pain drifting along with it. Ember glanced at him, his posture defeated and pained.

“when we got to the outpost, it had been too late, all of the younglings there had already been…” his voice trailed off, unable to bring himself to finish his train of thought. “I know we see this- even worse things- I know we aren’t supposed to harbor the feelings it brings with it but I…” He breathed in sharply, rubbing at his eyes roughly to keep the tears that threaten to fall at bay. “We’re not supposed to have attachment, yet we’re supposed to be compassionate…How does that work, Ember? Things like love and joy, aren’t those good things to hold onto? Even grief is apart of life, is it not?”

He was rambling, but he didn’t care, he couldn’t hold it in anymore and he knew out of everyone, Ember would never judge him of wave off his emotions as invalid. He trusted her and she him.

The emerald-eyed girl simply let him vent, crying out the hurt and confusion he felt but felt he couldn’t share without people questioning if he was fit for the Jedi. She stared out into the dark sky that was illuminated with bright stars and the alluring moon, deep in thought as she processed her friend’s words.

“Though we are given a code to follow for as a Jedi, I personally believe each person has to find the path of the Jedi- and what it means- for themselves. While yes, certain emotions can lead us down a dangerous path such as Anger, vengeance, greed… I also believe holding onto the pure emotions- Love, Happiness, belonging- Shouldn’t be forced out along with the rest…” She paused, pondering her thoughts sighing as she turned to face the puppy-like Jedi who has quieted down and was listening to his friend intensely,

She offered him a quiet somber smile, her hand reaching for his, clasping them together. “I think Baekhyun, being a Jedi isn’t so cookie-cutter as most would have us believe. We must choose for ourselves between what is right and what is easy” she finished quietly.

The rest of that night the two spent, simply enjoying each other’s presence while staring off into the abyss of the sky and all it had to offer. Their hands firmly clasped the entire time and Baekhyun had to ignore the jolt in his heart he felt as her warmth spread into his own. His mind processing her words. While one problem had seemed to quiet down and fade to the back of his mind, another reared its head as he found himself watching Ember more then anything else that night.

____________________________________________________________________

Several years had passed since that night, He had thought back to those moment’s more times than he’d ever like to admit as did his feelings for her grow. Lately, so much darkness surrounded the Jedi, as they continued to witness the cruelty of others, especially as the Empire continued their merciless tirade, killing all those that refused to stand by their side. 

**‘If you aren’t for us, then you are-by definition-against us”**

He, along with his fellow Jedi remember his harrowing message clear as day. Storm troopers increased as well as those rising within the darkness, not to mention the former chosen one himself as he was feared by all. Anytime he thought of this former Master his heart felt heavy to see how far he had fallen and what it had cost him.

“I can here the chaos all the way from the landing platform” A voice suddenly chimed in; he turned his gaze to find several of his friends watching him with mixed gazes. Slowly he pulled himself up from the sitting position he had been in for who knows how long, stretching his sore limbs.

“Did you guys just get back, Chanyeol?” he avoided his precious question altogether. He was happy to see the happy virus, Kyungsoo and Yixing back home in one piece. The only one missing from their group was Ember, she had been gone for a few days on a solo mission and it worried him to no end. He knew she was more then capable of handling anything that was thrown at her- She had also been Skywalker’s padawan and was a truly gifted jedi- but nonetheless his heart ached for her.

The four of of them decided to head over to the canteen, the others filled Baek in on their mission as they filled their bellies, though for once, Baekhyun wasn’t very hungry, his thoughts constantly drifting. “I know we’re meant to be peacekeepers, but sometimes I feel like we should take matters into our own hands to end this madness” Chanyeol muttered bitterly as he scarfed down the food on his plate,

Yixing frowned slightly “Chanyeol, that’s not the Jedi way…You mustn’t let those kinds of emotions take root in your heart. They can lead you down a dark path my friend” He spoke softly, never judging or scolding, simply speaking his wise words of advice. It was no surprise that someone as calm and serene as him was master Yoda’s padawan. Kyungsoo nodded in agreement with Yixing, causing Chanyeol to groan

“I know, I know…I’m just saying” He mumbled tiredly, no one could blame him, the state of things had left everyone feeling weary both in body and soul. Suddenly Baekhyun’s full attention was pulled away as he felt a familiar warmth through the force, It was Ember, she was back.

Without a moments hesitation the young Jedi abruptly stood from his seat, making haste out of the canteen leaving behind his puzzled- and slightly alarmed- friends. He’d come up with an excuse later, right now the only person that mattered- who consumed his very soul- was Ember and he had to see her, to make sure she was okay.

As he turned sharply towards the entrance of the loading platform he ran smack into Obi-Wan causing both men to stumble towards the ground. The older of the two rose his eyebrow in questioning “Well, hello there” he greeted, Baekhyun felt color rise to his cheeks as he hastily stood and offered a helping hand to him as well.

“What’s the rush?” Obi-wan ask, a small smirk playing along his lips as he eyed the sheepish male, clearing his throat Baekhyun ran a hand through his hair trying to calm his hammering heart. “Oh uh..I heard that Ember was back…so I was just going to see how her mission went” he replied, hoping the other didn’t hear his voice just crack.

“Oh? That was quite fast considering the just docked” the bearded man replied cheekily, though he never out right said anything, Baekhyun knew that he knew about his feeling towards the female Jedi, how their bond was so close they shared a force-bond which was quite rare. Deciding to put the poor blue-eyed boy out of his misery, Obi-wan simply patted his shoulder

“I’m afraid you must wait a bit longer, Master Yoda needed to talk with her and whisked her away as soon as they landed.” He answered, Baekhyun had to fight from showing how his heart just dropped and simply smiled in thanks.

“Alright…Thanks Master” he bowed before leaving, usually he was much better at hiding his emotions in the force- or so he had hoped. How embarrassing. 

____________________________________________________________________________

A few restless hours later, he had finally tracked down the person he had been hoping to see the most, She was sitting under their usual tree, he noted that her gaze was distant, lost in deep though that caused her usually soft and kind expression to be replaced with unease and a frown tugging at her lips.

“Hey Ember” the blur-eyed boy greeted quietly, placing himself next to her on the soft ground. As if pulled from a trance she blinked a few times before a small -somewhat sad- smile lifted her lips “Hello Baekhyun, how have you been?”

She was always checking in on him, even when something was obviously bothering her. He tilted his head slightly before answering “I’ve been alright, I’ve missed you” he admitted softly, ignoring the flush of his cheeks as he did so. Her smile was more genuine as she faced him “So did I” she replied easily, he might have imagined It but for a moment he thought he saw her own pale cheeks color slightly.

“Are…are you alright, Ember?” he asked, watching her intently after a few moments of pleasant silence, the girl in return frowned, her gaze shifting away for his searching gaze. 

Ember wanted to lie and tell him that she was fine, just tired. But she knew he’d see right through her, just as she saw through him. Sighing softly, she shifted until she was able to rest her head gently on his shoulder, his arm reaching out to wrap around her in natural instinct.

“I was thinking about what Master Yoda and I had talked about earlier…it’s weighing heavily on me” she mumbled, Baekhyun sent her soothing feelings and comfort through their force bond, He was curious about what they could have talked about but didn’t want to pry and force her to tell him.

“Master Yoda…He’s been helping me with some…visions…feelings I’ve been having lately...they’ve been haunting me” she started, searching for the right words “It’s been showing me that a time will come when I fight Ana-…Vader” Baekhyun stiffened, his gaze snapping down towards her, she looked to weary.

“Not only that but…It shows me something so harrowing, it frightens me. Of that future, of myself. I..Baek, I’m terrified what I’ve seen will not only happen but that it will cost me everything- it will cost me the person I love most” her voice trembled, Baekhyun tighten his hold, pulling her in closer as she looked up into his worried blue eyes.

“Ember, what ever you saw will not come to be. I will make sure of it, I will always be by your side” he promised quietly, his fingers reaching up to wipe the few tears that had spilled over. Ember bit her lip, fighting off the wave of despair his words brought her.

**_‘That’s the problem…I know you will never leave my side’_** she thought sadly, Just as Baekhyun had been unable to fight off his ever-growing love for her, she had also fallen for him, they were both in so deep that there was never even a thought of crawling back out.

“Baekhyun…” she called for his attention timidly, closing her eyes for a moment to steel her nerves. “what is it?” he asked, his hand stroking her cheek gently.

When she re-opened her eyes, her eyes held such raw emotion that it sent a shock through Baekhyun’s entire being, his heart hammering in his chest.

“I love you”

He wasn’t sure why he had reacted to frantically, but the moment she uttered those words he had so longed to hear, her had crashed his lip with hers. The pair grasping at each other in a longing and desperate kiss that sent a pleasant shock through their force bond, it felt like it was buzzing with warmth so hot it would burn them alive.

When they had finally been able to pull themselves away from each other, he rested his forehead against hers, his blue eyes boring into her emerald ones. He took a few calming breathes before caressing his face gently.

“I love you too, with my entire soul” He answered, leaning in to kiss her once more.

____________________________________________________________

**Calm. He had to remain calm.**

Baekhyun silently cursed as he ran hastily down the halls of an Empire outpost, avoiding droids and stormtroopers alike. Somehow, he had gotten separated from Ember and Kyungsoo, so now he was on his own.

It was **supposed** to be a simple stealth mission, in and out before anyone knew they had been there. However, the moment they had gotten there it was obvious that someone had tipped them up and they walked right into a trap.

He closed his eyes focusing on his force bond, he wasn’t able to tell where she was but he knew that at least she was safe- for the moment. “Baekhyun!” A hurried voice whispered-yelled, he came skidding to a halt, turning to see Kyungsoo quickly running up beside him “I was able to contact Obi-Wan, we have to find Ember and get to the Emergency landing platform as quickly as we can”

Nodding, the pair began to run towards the destination. Just as they turned sharply into another hall, a group of Stormtroopers spotted them, Baekhyun groaned in irritation, both igniting their sabers, so much for making a quick exit.

__________________________________________________________________

Ember was a very patient person, so she’d like to think, but even she had her limits. No matter where she ran, stormtroopers and droids came out of the woodwork. With both of her sabers ignited, Pure white blades cutting through droids swiftly. Using the force, she sent stormtroopers flying or simply knocking them out.

They may have been the enemy, but she didn’t want to be the cause of ending lives. She had gotten the transmission from Obi-Wan, praying that the others had gotten it as well. Just as she had finally gotten through the last of her current onslaught- finally hoping she’d be enemy free until reaching the emergency dock- she froze

Her head felt like it was being crushed with the something pulling at her through the force- it wasn’t Baekhyun or Kyungsoo- that much she knew. Gritting her teeth she pushed forward, ignoring the heaviness shrouding her entire being.

“So, the padawan has now become a Jedi” a distorted voice spoke from behind, The feeling she had been felt now felt as if it was burning her alive. Slowly the redhead turned towards the figure, there he was dressed in all black, the heavy sounds of air circulating from his mask breaking the silence around them. She felt her heart clench painfully at the sight of him.

There was no getting out of this, she only hoped that Kyungsoo and Baekhyun would get out of here safely even if it meant leaving her behind. **_‘I’m sorry, Baekhyun…’_** she passed the solemn thoughts through their force bond, hoping it would reach him.

Whether it was out of habit or because the young jedi refused to address him by ‘Darth Vader’ the name that spread fear throughout the galaxy, she called out his name-

“Anakin...”

**Everything that she had been fighting so hard to prevent, was already hunting her down before her eyes- trying to seal in her fate and those she cherished most. She wasn’t going to allow it without a fight.**


	3. I promise You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baekhyun x OC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies, So I was having a really hard night last night, so I ended up writing this, the first comment about the pictures was something that was actually said to me and how that scene played out. I honestly still have nightmares about actually going through with doing that to my face, it can get really dark in my head. and so this oneshot is really personal, I didn't go into alot of detail with things I've dealt with in this, but everything she was feeling or etc, was based on real events through my life. 
> 
> I was listening to alot of music last night since I was so restless (most last night it was Exo and NF (if you haven't heard/listened to this artist I 100% recommend, he's amazing)) so yeah, that's how this story came about. Sorry if it's kinda dark, I just had to get it out somehow last night sooo...
> 
> I hope everyone has been doing well, please stay safe and make sure to take care of yourselves, okay? Thank you and sending lots of love your way

Warning: Self-harm (not graphic) mentions of past abuse, PTSD, depression and anxiety.

Angst, comfort, fluff

BaekhyunxOC

_________________________________________________________________________________________

The music, the people, the noise-

All of it blurred together as she found herself once again finding solace in the silence outside, watching the darkened sky listlessly, heart heavy as dangerous thoughts swirled and wrapped around her very being, slowly tightening itself like a snake with its prey.

Nights usually ended up like this whether she was home alone in the safety of her bed or when she was dragged to parties like tonight, the feeling like she was suffocating became so overwhelming she had to escape from all the noise.

The dark haired girl was so opposite from her boyfriend and friends, always a thousand miles away. Unable to fully ground herself to the present moment. Her wounded mind constantly on replay, keeping her prisoner in her own mind.

“Luna! Knew I’d find you out here” a cheery voice broke through her blissful silence, a small smile gracing her lips as Baekhyun plopped down next to her, leaning and gently placing a tender kiss on her lips.

“Hey Baek, what are you doing out here?”

“Looking for you of course, I missed you…you disappeared awhile ago. Are you okay?” he asked softly, his sweet puppy eyes searching worriedly.

Her heart felt heavy with guilt, she was always worrying him- she was always a burden.

He deserved so much better.

“I’m fine” she answered, hoping he didn’t hear the waver in her voice. “just needed some air for a bit” she shrugged. He nodded in acceptance, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, bringing her flush to his side as he rested his head on shoulder, breathing in her scent.

Tonight, was supposed to be about him and the rest of Exo, to congratulate them on another successful album- which was no surprise- but here Baekhyun was. Making sure she was okay. Why couldn’t she just be normal? She didn’t want to drag him or the others down to her hopeless level.

The pair spent some time in comfortable silence, her fingers gently threading themselves through his soft fluffy hair as he continued to hold onto her like a koala. Luna always found these quiet moments between her and Baekhyun to be like a soothing balm to her cracked soul.

Unfortunately, these moments always came to an end, no matter how much she wanted to hold on and never leave this small bubble of safety and love.

Someone came stumbling out of the back door, deep voice loud but full of mirth as they called out to the lovebirds,

“Guuuuuuys!” The happy virus, Chanyeol, slurred as he wobbly made his way, plopping down-more like collapsing- next to them, his arms wrapped around the pair nearly causing them to all tumble on the ground.

“What is it Yeollie?” Baekhyun asked, amusement clear in his eyes as he watched the gentle giant flail around.

“The others wanted to take a group picture!! You should be in it to, Luuuuna~” he sang horribly off tune, causing the puppy eyed male to laugh. Fondness clear in his gaze. Luna on the other hand had frozen, dread sinking in and heart racing, threatening to burst out from her ribcage.

She hated taking photos, she couldn’t handle it. Ugly memories pushing themselves to the front of her mind as she felt herself spiraling down the rabbit hole.

____________

‘Oh Luna, looking at your picture makes me feel suicidal!” a cruel voice laughed, as others joined in. Luna felt her eyes sting with unshed tears as she kept her gazed locked on her desk. She could barely breathe as she felt like she was suffocating under the gaze of her classmates, all eyes on her.

She had to run- she had to escape. She felt petrified, the need to run but also not wanting anymore attention brought to her, she felt like her lungs were about to burst.

Somehow, she had managed to excuse herself to the bathroom, taking her belongings with her since she had no intention of returning to the classroom. She locked herself in an empty bathroom stall, collapsing to the ground as she tried to keep quiet as tears racked through her body.

The blade she kept in her bookbag, calling out to her. She tried so hard to stop, but it was moment’s like these it was her only friend. Never judging her puffy tear-stained cheeks or lifeless eyes. Her broken gaze staring back at her from the small mirror above the sink in the stall.

At that moment, she just wanted to take the razor and drag it all across her face, then go back to the others and ask;

“Is this better now?”

Somehow, she had stopped herself from carrying out that task though she did attack herself in other ways. Line after line of red marring her thighs. No matter how much the wounds stung, and the scars disgusted her, it never helped for long.

It could never truly carve out all the pain her soul held.

______________________________________

Funnily enough, that wasn’t even the worst thing someone had said to her, but for some reason it always stuck with Luna, like a cancer slowly eating away at her mind and soul, it would pop up at the most random of times and settle in like it had never left.

She never liked being in photos before that, but afterwards she absolutely refused- no matter how unusual it was to others or how much it angered her abusive family who pretended to be perfect and normal-

She was the black stain, ruining everything.

Baekhyun, and the others of Exo had tried many times to include her, most of the times she’d escape but on times she couldn’t, she always broke when Baekhyun flashed his puppy eyes-

How could she say no?

“Luna?” a voice asked, finally breaking her out of the rabbit hole, she blinked away unshed tears before returning her attention to the happy virus and pouting Baekhyun.

“Sorry…I zoned out” she responded sheepishly, ignoring Baekhyun’s searching gaze.

“I was saying the others are waiting, we want to take a group picture to remember the night! Your apart of us, you can’t say no this time!” Chanyeol whined as he haphazardly managed to stand once more, swaying as he clung onto the shorter male to keep him steady.

“Please, join us?” Baekhyun asked, lips formed into a full pout, his eyes shinning hopefully like an excited puppy.

Curse Byun Baekhyun and his cute, sweet face. If she said no it felt like kicking a puppy- Which was not acceptable.

‘You can do this Luna, as long as you don’t look at the picture afterwards, it’ll be fine and over before you know it’ Luna mentally tried to give herself a pep talk, though she didn’t believe a word of it. Reluctantly she nodded, both males grinning as they sandwiched her in the middle of themselves- to keep her from running- they had claimed.

Thankfully when the reentered the apartment, most of the people from before had cleared out, she must have been outside longer than she had originally thought. The music now turned down to a soft beating background noise, those left were only people close to the group.

“Finally, we thought either Chanyeol died from alcohol poisoning or Luna managed to escape this time around!” Jongdae called out, voice full of teasing mirth while throwing himself at the trio.

Chanyeol whined, dodging the happy beagle and latching himself onto Kyungsoo who immediately tried to smack him away, mumbling something inaudible under his breath. Luna on the other hand hoped the strained smile that graced her lips looked convincing enough.

“Well, I tried but Baek played dirty with those puppy eyes of his” she retorted, rolling her eyes. Baekhyun pouted as he denied the claim, laughs of amusement filling the air.

“Okay! Gather around you lot! Ne, Taehyung can you take the shot?” Junmyeon called out, the ocean-blue eyed girl hadn’t even realized that BTS had came out tonight, they were all sweet though and Luna genuinely enjoyed the conversations she would have with all of them, especially Yoongi and Namjoon, they had such interesting insight and views of things.

“Sure Hyung!” the boxy-smile male happily bounced over, taking his phone carefully as the group assembled and squished together to make sure everyone was in the shot. Luna found herself squished in between Baekhyun, who had his arm around her waist holding her flush to his side. And Minseok who wrapped his arm around her shoulders. The Happy virus unfortunately was right behind her, his hands resting heavily on her shoulders- she had no doubt that he was using her to keep himself from faceplanting.

She didn’t know why she expected anything less, Exo was the definition of chaos.

Once everyone managed to find a position that kept them all in the frame, Taehyung began taking shot after shot- He always took picture taking seriously- unfortunately for Luna, the longer this went on the more the need to run became, gnawing away at her.

Finally, just as she was about to crawl out of her skin, Taehyung deemed the pictures he had taken satisfactory. Just as they wanted to get other group members together- from BTS, whoever was left from NCT and Taemin- she managed to weasel her way out from Baekhyun and Minseok, escaping to the bathroom and locking herself inside.

She quietly slid to the floor, the tears she’d managed to push down earlier now forcing themselves to be released, flooding her face as she tried to wipe them away. It was no use though, no matter how much she rubbed at her face, they just kept coming.

Her heart clenched painfully, her hands over her mouth to silence her painful cries as self-loathing consumed her.

She felt so Hideous and disgusting- inside and out- she didn’t deserve any of the good things she had in her life. The friendships she had forged with Exo and other group members she’d met through the years, she definitely didn’t deserve Baekhyun- he deserved so much better.

She wasn’t blind to the hate she got online, while most of ExoL’s defended her and tried to uplift her, she still saw all the negative ones and those are the words that stuck to her mind and scarred it. Painful memories and emotions rising to the surface, whether it be faceless voices from the internet or cruel kids during her school days or the dark and painful times- mentally and physically- caused by her family.

She had opened up about it- somewhat- to Baekhyun when they entered their second year of dating, but she kept herself guarded even then, no matter how much she wanted to release the pain she’d locked away for long- she couldn’t, if she did, she’d regret it.

If he knew just how broken and disgusting, she really was, he’d run and never look back- they all would. She’d be alone again.

So, she kept it hidden deep inside and locked away. Festering within the darkness.

She heaved quietly as her tears slowed but continued to run down her flushed face. Slowly she stood, clutching onto the counter sink until her already pale skin was almost paper white. She didn’t dare look at her reflection, knowing that whatever she saw would only cause her to sink deeper.

She heaved quietly, trying to take in deep breaths in fear she’d pass out and cause a scene. Shakily her hands reached for the medicine cabinet, hoping to find some pain killers for the headache she felt forming, instead her breath hitched as her gaze locked on a fresh packet of razorblades.

She bit into her bottom lip, the skin almost raw from the harsh assault. Luna had managed to keep away from this outlet for two years now- out of her 7 years with Baekhyun, how she’d been able to hide it the whole time was beyond her but she was thankful he never found out-

‘just turn away, right now. Walk away….do you really want to throw these past two years down the drain?’ she silently scolded, her gaze fixated solely the blades that glinted dangerously.

Luna tried to ground herself, she felt so weary, she was fading, being consumed by the darkness within her. Her lip trembled as she reached for the blades, heart jolting as if it knew what was coming. She’d probably feel worse afterwards, but she was too far gone to care in this moment.

She caved into the darkness.

_______________________

Baekhyun’s gaze kept lingering towards the locked bathroom, he couldn’t figure out why but fear settled in his heart, he was worried. Luna had been acting off for a while now-

At first he thought he had done something, but when he’d look into her eyes, they were so haunted and far away, whatever it was, it was something much more sinister and deep rooted. He’d hope she would come to him eventually, and he’d always be there, holding her tightly and would help in anyway he could even if it was just him listening.

“You okay?” Minseok appeared beside him quietly, tilting his head as his gaze followed his on the bathroom door.

“Baek? Is Luna sick?” he asked worriedly, Baekhyun didn’t know how to answer that question, all he could do was shrug his shoulders, looking to the elder helplessly.

“Something has been off, I’ve been waiting- giving her space- hoping whatever it was she’d come to me…but she hasn’t…Doesn’t she trust me Hyung?” he asked dejectedly, his lower lip trembling at the thought that after all this time, his love couldn’t trust him.

Minseok’s gaze softened as his placed a reassuring hand on his shoulders,

“Baekhyun-ah, of course she does….It’s just, some things might be hard to talk about, she might not be able to bring it up herself, you know? You shoulder try to bridge that gap yourself, and then it might give her the opening she needs to get whatever it is off her chest, y’know?”

Baekhyun was thankful for his Hyung, the cat-eyed male was always so wise when it came to difficult situations- not that Baekhyun wasn’t- but he always felt grounded after their talks, as he did when he would confess his vulnerabilities to Luna, he wished she’d do that same.

Slowly he took a steadying breath, giving Minseok a thankful smile.

“Thanks, Hyung”

“No problem, Baek” Minseok smiled gently, patting him on the shoulders “now, Kyungsoo and I need to go round up those who are barely conscious” he rolled his eyes, amusement flashing as he watched the owl-eyed boy struggling to hold up Chanyeol, Jongdae clinging to his other side as Sehun and Jongin were completely passed out on the couch clinging to each other.

Baekhyun’s lips twitched, holding back his amusement “Good luck” he snorted before departing from the group and made his way to the locked door, pressing his ear to the door as he knocked softly before calling out her name.

“Luna? Are you alright? You’ve been in here for a while…are you feeling sick?”

________________________________

Luna silently cursed after the dead was done. Angry red lines marring her lower stomach and the top of her thighs, staining everything around her red, a stark contrast to the white tile. She was thankful she wore black clothing tonight, so it even if it bled through it wouldn’t be noticeable.

After she hastily fixed her clothing, she swayed as she hurriedly got to work cleaning up the scene, not wanting to leave stains of her weakness. Several times she had to catch herself from falling, she had done more damage than she wanted, but once she had started it was like something in her snapped.

Everything poured out through the metal slicing into her skin, she really had to reign herself back in before she had gone to far- the last thing she wanted was to cause more trouble.

Just as she was finishing up, wrapping the dirtied blade in toilet paper and flushing it, a knock startled her, her eyes wide as she stared at the closed door, Baekhyun’s soothing velvet voice calling from the other side softly.

“Luna? Are you alright? You’ve been in there for a while…are you feeling sick?” she could hear the concern taint his voice, slowly she breathed in deeply before letting it out once more.

‘alright, Luna, suck it up. Don’t be such a fuck up!’ she thought bitterly, she glanced at the mirror, her eyes still rimmed red and slightly puffy but looking better after she had splashed cold water over her heated and raw skin.

Slowly she opened the door, eyes slightly glazed over as she focused on Baekhyun,

“Sorry…I’m alright, just tired” she slurred towards the end black spots dancing across her vision.

wrapping her arms around his torso, burying her face into his chest, she breathed in his calming scent- warm Cinnamon and earthy undertones.

He wrapped her in his embrace without hesitation, looking down as she buried her face into his chest, lip twitching in slight amusement at her sudden clinginess.

“How much did you drink?” he asked, his fingers gently threading themselves through her soft long strands, his other hand gently rubbing soothing patterns into the small of her back. She simply shrugged, not meeting his gaze.

He frowned. “Let’s get you home, yeah?” he cooed, wordlessly she agreed, untangling herself from his arms, swaying as she walked, much to his worry. The pair said their goodbyes, Minseok sending him a pointed look before he and Kyungsoo wrestled the others out the door and into the car waiting for them to get rest of the group home.

Baekhyun ended up swooping down, lifting her with ease as they made their way to the car, Luna protesting half-heartedly but not really fighting to be set free. The brown-eyed male bit his lip absentmindedly, lost in thought.

He doesn’t remember her even having anything to drink- she usually didn’t…maybe when she had gone outside? But before she went into the bathroom she was lucid….he could his worry steadily growing, though for the moment he kept silent as he carefully placed her into the passenger seat, strapping her seatbelt into place and quietly shutting her door before rounding the car to the driver’s side.

______________________________

Since it was so late, the roads were mostly empty, the drive home silent as Luna stared out at the passing scenery, though her gaze unseeing, far away to a place Baekhyun wasn’t allowed to follow. While his grip tightened around the steering several times, lips pressing together in a thin line, he kept his mouth shut.

He didn’t want to have this conversation in the car while he was driving, though he felt startlingly somber now, it’d be safe once they weren’t on the road. So, with his jaw set tight, he waited.

______________________

Once in the safety of their home, Luna eyed him nervously, during the car ride she could feel the silent tension steadily growing. Fear settled deep within her- not fear of him hurting her, she knew he’d never do that- but fear of something unspoken weighing heavily, the instinct of flight or fight flowing through her veins.

Subtly she tried to quickly make her way upstairs, until she felt a gentle but firm grasp on her wrist pull her back, she kept her back to him, unable to face the expression that might be in his gaze right now. Her heart thumping wildly as her anxiety spread like a wildfire.

“Luna-“ he started, wrapping his arms around her, his hands resting on her lower stomach. Causing her shirt to rub painfully at the raw wounds underneath, she couldn’t stop her body from flinching in time, she felt his grip on her tense before loosening.

No, no , no…Please not now

He whirled her around, shock and worry marring his usually happy lighthearted one. She still refused to meet his gaze, staring at the floor,

“Luna….what was that?” his asked shakily, “are- are you hurt? Did I do something?” his voice broke towards the end, she quickly shook her head.

“no! Baek, you’ve done nothing wrong- I…I just don’t feel well. I’m going to wash up-“

“Please don’t lie to me, Luna, talk to me!” he pleaded, frowning she wormed her way out of his grasp, turning away from him once more.

“I’m fine Baekhyun” she nearly snapped before fleeing up the stairs and towards the bathroom immediately, leaving a stunned Baekhyun frozen in place. She hastily turned on the shower, allowing the water to heat up before stripping out of her clothes,

Blood smeared around her stomach and upper thighs, her lower lip quivering as fresh tears poured out. She felt so disgusted with herself, so angry. It had already been hard to hide this side of her for so long- when they had finally been intimate, she always had to have the lights off and kept a long shirt over her body. Making sure his touch never went to close to the scars that littered mostly in her upper thighs and lower stomach.

Did he know now? Was he going to confirm all of her fears? Luna didn’t think she could handle it if those harsh, painful words she’d heard from so many others ever left his pouty lips. She just wanted to run away from it all.

Slowly, she stepped into the shower, hissing in pain as the water washed over her open wounds. She got to work cleaning off the blood, cringing every time she touched her broken, flawed body. The ocean-blue eyed girl so lost in thought that she didn’t realize she hadn’t locked the door.

Slowly the knob turned, Baekhyun walking in to leave her a change of clothes and towel that she’d forgotten in her haste. He turned, intending to wait for her to hopefully calm down so they could talk, but he froze in his tracks when his gaze glimpsed in her direction.

It felt like his heart stopped and his brain short circuited. His gaze fixed on the bloody ragged lines that covered parts of her lower stomach and upper thighs, he could she her silently flinch from time to time when the water washed over them.

He could also see old scars, pale and white against even her pale skin. He gritted his teeth as he felt a whirl of emotions pass through him, tears brimming his dark brown eyes. Almost in slow motion, things started to piece themselves together.

Why she never let him fully see her, even when they were intimate, how she shied away from his touch when his hands lingered to long and to close against the affected areas. The haunted, hallow look in her eyes whenever she thought he wouldn’t notice-

But why? Why!?

So many questions flooded his mind, shakily he reigned himself in, voice strained as he spoke,

“What the hell- Luna! What have you done?” Baekhyun hadn’t meant to sound so harsh or scare her- causing her to almost lose her footing, but thankfully she had caught herself. She raised her head to see Baekhyun standing in the fogged-up bathroom, unreadable expression on his face.

Luna spluttered, face heating up even hotter than the water cascading down her body,

“W-what are you doing in here!? Get out!” she screeched, grasping for the shower curtain to cover herself- and her shame.

‘This is it, he knows now- everything is ruined’ she could feel her lungs tightening, no matter how deeply she breathed in, air wasn’t reaching her lungs. Short, ragged breaths escaped her as her body trembled violently, the last thing she needed was a panic attack.

Baekhyun worriedly reached out for her, noticing the signs of her anxiety escalating “Luna-“

“No! Don’t touch me” she choked out a sob, collapsing as she curled in on herself, the water continuing to pelt her now shuddering body. It felt like ice reached all the way to her bones, she covered her face with her hands as loud sobs escaped her throat.

Baekhyun’s heart broke, quietly he crouched down- after turning off the water- so that he was face to face with her, carefully reaching out once more, placing his hand on her knees,

“Luna…It’s okay, please breathe- follow my breathing, it’s okay, alright? I’m here, I’m here” he cooed tenderly repeating his words barely above a whisper as she rode out her panic attack. What felt like an eternity to her-but was only a few minutes- finally her breathing evened out.

Baekhyun wrapped the towel around her fragile body, afraid to speak incase he upset her further.

“Can…can you wait in the other room? So I can get dressed….” She murmured; voice hoarse from the rough sobs that ripped from her throat. Hesitatingly, he slowly nodded “alright, I’ll be in the bedroom if you need me” he relented, slowly closing the door behind himself as he left.

The moment he left; she quickly locked the door- she was so stupid! All of this could have been avoided if she had remembered to lock the fucking door! She berated herself as she paced back and forth in the small space of the bathroom, water droplets from her soaked hair falling against the tile with each movement.

She fought back another sob, she knew what she needed to do- She had to run before his words, his reactions broke her completely. Call her a coward, but there was only so much she could handle before shattering completely.

Quickly but quietly, she dried herself off, not bothering with her dripping hair, as she threw on the fresh clothes Baekhyun had brought in for her, once she was dressed, she hesitated by the door, grasping the doorknob, she slowly inched the door open.

Once it was open far enough for her to slip through, she eyed the empty hallway, gaze lingering on their shared bedroom, the door left partly open. She couldn’t see him nor hear any movement, so she stealthily made her way down the stairs, once she reached the front door she slipped on her shoes and grabbed her keys and cell phone.

Everything else would have to wait- just as her hand reached for the handle, a voice spoke from behind her, she couldn’t help the small yelp that fell from her lips as she whirled around, Baekhyun standing right behind her-

The hurt that shone through his eyes was too much to look at.

“Where you seriously just going to run away? Is the thought of talking to me about whatever is going on that frightening?” he began to pace, nearly scoffing as he ran his fingers through his hair in exasperation, Luna didn’t dare speak in that moment.

“Why won’t you trust me? Have I done something to ever give you the idea that you can’t talk to me- about anything? How long have you been hurting yourself? Is it because of me? Oh god, I’m such a shitty boyfriend, I never even noticed-“

He was beginning to spiral, his own panic attack forming. She couldn’t bare the pain she was causing him, her body moved on its own as she lunged forward, wrapping her arms around his body tightly, once again tears flowing freely- at this point she wouldn’t be surprised if she ran out of tears.

“No! No Baek…It’s not you, you’re the best thing I’ve ever had in my life. I don’t deserve you” she wailed, her ocean blue eyes now a stormy blue from all the tears she had shed tonight, gently he pulled away from her to look her in the eye, silent tears running down his soft cheeks.

“What are you talking about? Of course you deserve me- if anything I don’t deserve you…Luna, please, let me in-“

“I can’t! when I do…it never ended well, I..I don’t want you to be disgusted with me- or our friends to see this side of me- it’s so hideous- I can’t” she hiccupped and stumbled over her words, Baek cupped her cheeks, slightly smushing them to get her to stop for a moment

“Did you really think I’d leave because of something like this? Because of your struggles? Luna…don’t you know me better then that?” hurt and disbelief clear in his voice.

“Talk to me, please” he whispered again, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, his fingers gently brushing her damp hair from her face. With fear still in her eyes she slowly agreed. Once again, he swooped down, picking her up bridal style and bringing her back to their bedroom.

___________________________________

It had taken about an hour to actually start talking, as soon as he had carefully placed her on the bed he disappeared from the room, returning with a first aid kit and despite her protests at first, she allowed him to carefully clean out the cuts and gently bandaged them, leaving a trail of kisses over the traumatized skin.

Then, Baekhyun proceed to pull her into his embrace, their limbs entangling together as he wrapped blanket around the two of them until the had formed a blanket burrito, his warmth seeping into her body soothing her fried nerves. He didn’t rush her, as she tried to gather her thoughts on where to begin-

In the end, she decided to tell him everything, so she started from the beginning. Through stuttering words and tears the refused to cease,

The dam had been broken, she told him about her verbally abusive mother, how she could never do anything right in her eyes, how she was always the fuck up, the problem and the burden. How her brother was always the light and she was nothing but a dark void, whatever she said or the pain she suffered was twisted and distorted until she believed when others told her it was her fault, and if they hurt her- why shouldn’t she hurt herself? That way no one could her as bad as she hurt herself.

She opened up about her absentee father, even though he was physically there, he was always in his own world. Emotionally closed off to everyone else and never was there, during the fights between him and her mother, she would be dragged in the middle- playing the peace keeper- though if she didn’t side with her mother, she’d immediately turn on her and tear her apart,

And the moments where sometimes it turned physical, hot pans off the stove thrown into the wall- thankfully not hurting anyone but scaring her nonetheless- or when her mother was so drunk and tried to drive, once during thanksgiving on the way home how her mother and father fought, when he refused to let her drive, she tried to pull Luna and her brother out of the car and into highway traffic. So, he got out of the car and she had left him there.

The whole ride home terrifying as she drove the wrong way at one point- how they had all made it home was a miracle in itself.

During all of this, she didn’t catch a break at school, not really having any friends that she could count on, and a group of students hounding her at any chance they could grasp out from nasty comments to sexual harassment- when she told him about the picture comment, Baekhyun looked murderous, not at her but the situation-

When she confessed about her attempts- all of them- she had to stop for breath, Baekhyun held her tightly the entire time, whispering tender words of encouragement and how thankful he was she was still here with him, placing soft kisses anywhere he could reach.

She continued in depth about her PTSD, depression and severe anxiety, how she had to finish school online because she just couldn’t leave the house anymore for a long time. She was trapped every where she went.

Her only solace being Music, Books and animals. No one was wanted to stay by her side, to deal with the ugly brokenness within her. Even doctors that were supposed to help her only caused her to worsen and cave in on herself until she completely shut herself off.

How when she first met Baekhyun and the rest of Exo she was so terrified that if they found out how messed up she was, they to would leave, spouting at the same words she’d heard all her life. That she didn’t deserve any of the happiness she had finally gotten by being with them- being with Baekhyun.

She felt faceless, voiceless, that if she were to disappear no one would even notice. That she couldn’t stop the painfully loneliness and hollowness that sunk into her very being, feeling everything at once or nothing at all.

At the end of her emotional purge, Luna wasn’t sure how much time had passed. She felt drained physically and emotionally, Baekhyun was scarily quiet and she was already regretting telling him everything, no way he-

“I’m so sorry” he whispered, voice thick from tears, he turned her face gently to look up at him, eyes shinning through the darkness, pain, anger and admiration swirling through his puppy eyes.

“I didn’t know…this whole time you had been fighting so much on your own…Fuck” he whimpered, resting his forehead on her own, their tears mingling together.

s“I know now though, and I’m not going anywhere, Luna, I love you. If you can’t love yourself right now, I’ll love you enough for the both of us, I’m not running away- I never would. I.Love.you…..”

His gaze was overwhelming, but this time she didn’t look away,

“Do you understand? I love you, and if anything, my feelings for you have grown. You are so strong, so brave and I’m so fucking lucky to have you in my life….so please, don’t run away anymore, okay?” he pleaded softly.

Unable to talk anymore, she simply nodded her head. Clinging to him, afraid he’d disappear if she let go, he leaned down gently connecting their lips in a soft, slow and tender kiss. Full of love, sadness, and a promise of safety.

Baekhyun would do everything in his power to help her, he was going to stay by her side even if she tried to push him away. He’d never abandoned her. He repeated these words as her eyes slowly started to flutter shut, completely exhausted from this night.

As Luna fell asleep in his arms, her head tucked under his chin, resting against his chest, his slow heartbeat soothing her, he promised her no matter how hard it got- all the good and bad days and everything in between- they’d face it together, and that one day, she could leave this behind her for better days.

Just as she finally drifted off into a deep slumber, she heard his smooth voice cooing quietly one last time to her and for once she found herself allowing hope to fill her fragile, beaten down and broken heart;

“I promise you, my love.”


	4. For Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had wanted to make a Kyungsoo one-shot after his discharge, but I just couldn't think of a good idea....so it's a bit late but here we are!

Kyungsoo’s life was becoming…odd.

At least, he was noticing things he hadn’t noticed before- things no one seemed to notice- he was starting to question his own sanity because of it. It started a few months ago, after a long day he had dragged himself back to his apartment, that was the beginning of his slipping sanity.

The heart-shaped male sighed as he trudged through the pelting rain, the light guiding his journey home were the streetlights littered through the area- his clothes had become like a second skin at this point, his dark hair plastered against his forehead. He couldn’t bring himself to care, having been ready to drop dead any moment.

Finally, he rounded the street corner near his apartment complex, once he was home, he was ready to hide away from the world until it became necessary to go back into it. His gaze shifted around the area, it was like a ghost town- not that it should have surprised him, it was already nearing two in the morning, plus with the unforgiving rain-

Who would willing go out in these kinds of conditions? 

movement in his peripheral vision caused the soaked male to do a double-take, eyes squinted as he tried to make out what had caught his attention. That’s when he saw a blurred figure, standing idly in the dark night, making no move to find cover from the elements.

As he moved closer, that’s when he figured out it was a girl, a frowned etched its way onto his face as he studied her- she was soaked to the bone, barefoot-her clothing was torn, and he thinks he noticed blood staining them- and her skin had an almost blueish tint to it.

How long had she been standing there? Was she okay?

Her shoulder length hair stuck to her face and neck, bangs covering her eyes from the world. Even from where he was, he could see her trembling- whether it was because she was injured or because of the rain, or both, he wasn’t sure.

Hesitantly he walked towards her, she was as still as a statue- when he was nearly in front of her, he noticed wounds littering her body. The side of her forehead had a deep gash across, she had multiple little cuts and bruises all over her body. As well as a possible deep cut wrapping around the side of her torso- if the blood there was anything to go by.

“Excuse me? Miss, are you alright?” he asked carefully, his baritone voice cutting through the silence that blanketed the night. At first, he thought she might not have heard him, until slowly- almost in a daze, the female lifted her head.

her doe eyes met his concerned gaze, brows knitted with worry. She blinked owlishly at him, slowly processing the question he had asked her. Her expression became confused.

“…I’m not sure…” she replied, voice so faint he could barely make out her words over the heavy rainfall.

“Did someone hurt you?” he tried again, watching as the girl furrowed her brows, her gaze scanning her own wounded body in surprise at what she found, once she lifted her head to meet his gaze once more, her gaze had become slightly panicked.

“I don’t remember…” she answered, lip wobbling as she tried to keep her tears at bay- why didn’t she remember? What had happened? She didn’t even know where she was- or who she was. She felt nothing.

Kyungsoo became increasingly worried, he couldn’t just leave her here.

“My apartment is just around the corner- you really shouldn’t be out in this kind of whether- you can wait there, and I’ll call an ambulance so you can get checked out?” he offered softly, not wanting to spook her further.

Timidly she nodded her head, as the pair walked silently to his apartment, he wished he hadn’t forgotten his umbrella, the last thing this girl needed was to get sick on top of the injured she had already sustained.

“Can I ask what your name is?” he tried after an awkward silence, the frown marring her face deepened- doe eyes watery as she answered;

“…I don’t remember…I’m sorry.”

“No- don’t apologize- with that head wound you have, it’s plausible you could have amnesia.” He sighed, before adding, “My names Kyungsoo.”

As they walked, she eyed him curiously- Kyungsoo, it was a nice name…he seemed kind.

Her limbs felt like iron, she could barely move them. The further they walked, the harder it was for her to keep up, her head was swimming- everything around her was blurring together, she was losing control of her own body and mind, it felt like she was floating away.

She parted her lips, trying to call out for the kind owl-eyed male, but no matter how hard she tried- nothing came out. Tears of frustration cascaded down her bruised cheeks- what was happening to her? She was so tired…she couldn’t hold on anymore…

Kyungsoo finally saw his apartment come into view as he hastily pulled out his house keys,

“Here we are-“

He turned his attention behind him as he spoke, only to halt abruptly- he was alone. No sign of the wounded girl anywhere, and in her state, there was no way she could have just run off, it was like she had vanished. Nothing but the darkness of the night surrounded him and the sound of pelting rain.

His mouth parted in a mix of confusion and anxiety- what the hell had just happened?

_________________

A month had passed from that…hallucination, at least that’s what he had convinced himself. He had been overworked, exhausted and with how hard it had been raining that night, his mind simply played a trick on him.

It hadn’t stopped Kyungsoo from checking the area from time to time, hoping to catch a glimpse of the doe-eyed female, if she had been real- he just hoped she was alright.

A small sigh escaped his lips as he lay in bed, blankly staring up at the ceiling. No matter how much he tried, he couldn’t get her out of his head. What was wrong with him? His body froze as a soft thud sounded from just outside his door- knowing it couldn’t have been his dogs since both Pepper and Ink were curled up on his bed, the fluff-balls blissfully unaware.

The second time he heard a soft thudding sound, the dark-haired male knew he had to investigate. Silently he got up from his bed, picking up his glasses that rested on his nightstand, slipping them onto his face- because who could deal with contacts in this situation?- and crept towards the closed bedroom door.

Had he left a window open? Maybe some animal had entered by mistake, the sound had been so feather light, he had almost missed to it begin with. He doubted it was anything dangerous…he hoped. With one last steadying breath he inched the door open slowly.

He peered out into the corridor, craning his head in search of anything suspicious- finding nothing of the sort, he stepped out of the room, his feet carrying him silently until he came to a stop in the living area, his brows pinched in confusion.

His fingers ran through his sleep mused hair, no matter where he checked- kitchen, windows, guest bedroom- he found nothing. Perhaps his frayed mind had mistakenly played another trick on him. Just as he was about to give up and head back to bed and cuddle his fur babies- the same noise sounded again; he halted his steps.

He was somewhere between feeling exasperated and anxious. His gaze locked onto the closed bathroom door- he was sure that’s where the noise had come from. His tongue swiped over his suddenly dry lips as his fingers wrapped around the doorknob, slowly turning it before throwing it open-

The door bounced off the wall as his eyes wildly shifted around the room-

Nothing was there.

Thoroughly freaked, he was about to turn tail and book it back to his bedroom, until he saw a figure in the reflection of that bathroom’s mirror. The girl from before reflected back at him- though she no longer was soaked to the bone and not nearly as bloody- a scream of terror ripped from his throat.

Though if anyone asked, he’d vehemently deny all of it

Tripping over his own feet, he stumbled out of the bathroom and onto the hardwood floor in the hallway, his heart hammering against his ribcage. A small grunt left his lips as he landed- his glasses slipped off his face and clattering somewhere nearby.

‘Breathe Kyungsoo, you’re tired- you need more rest, ghosts aren’t-‘

“…Are you okay?” a soft floaty voice asked, his gaze snapping up to find that the female had left the mirror and was standing- floating- right beside him, offering him his fallen glasses- how was that even possible?

His mind was whirling in shock and panic, why was this happening to him? Was this karma from all the times he hit Chanyeol in annoyance? Damn that happy virus.

Shakily his hand reached out, taking the offered glasses as he slid them back over his face, now he could see her instead of just her blurred figure. He hadn’t been able to get a proper look that night he found her-

Her doe eyes were like a warm cinnamon brown, her skin no longer having the blueish tint though still looked ashen, her dark hair fell just past her shoulders. The bloody clothes had now changed to a billowing white dress- she still had cuts and bruises along her petite body, the gash across her forehead no longer bleeding out but still a stark contrast to her pale skin. He wasn’t sure whether she was shorter than him or not, since she was well…you know, floating.

She patiently waited as the male before her tried to compose himself, one thing he knew- he felt- was that whatever she was, she had no intention of harming him. Slowly he got back to his feet, his hands and knees throbbing from his rough fall.

Clearing his throat, he dusted himself off before meeting her gaze one more- though his heart struggled to calm itself, it no longer felt like it was going to burst out of his chest.

“You’re the one- from that night, right?”

“Yes.”

“…Have I lost my mind?”

A soft giggle slipped past her pouty lips- it was filled with mirth and warmth- her slim shoulders shrugging in slight amusement.

“I mean, I don’t know you- so I can’t answer that…but if you mean if I’m actually here or not- then yes, I am here.”

“Are you….”

“Ghost? Spirit? Dead?” she helpfully supplied, before a forlorn sigh escaped her lips, her expression now timid. “I don’t know…I don’t remember anything- not even my own name…I just…remembered you from the from that night, you tried to help me.”

“…Yes, but that was nearly a month ago- you just disappeared.”

Her gaze lifted in shock, tears brimming her cinnamon eyes at the news.

“…A month? Has that much time passed already?”

“…How long did you think it had been?”

“Honestly, it felt like it had just happened last night-perhaps a couple days since then.”

Kyungsoo felt his heart ache for her, having time slip away from you like that- it couldn’t have been easy. He didn’t know why she was here though, how was he supposed to help, if she was…well, dead?

As if sensing the tension, Pepper and Ink decided to make an appearance, their little paws clicking against the hardwood floor as they ran past him into the kitchen- of course they wanted food. Almost sheepishly, he gestured for the- ghost? To follow him.

“Sorry, I need to feed them.” He explained, she cooed as she watched the toy poodles hover around the male as he got to work on setting out their food and fresh water.

“What are their names?” she asked, distracted by their cuteness.

“The one that has dark grey fur is named Pepper, and the one with black fur is Ink.” He answered, setting the bowls down onto the floor. Her lip twitched in amusement at the names chosen. It was adorable.

Kyungsoo hesitated, not wanting to offend the ghostly female- but he had to know-

“Not to be crude- but- …why are you here now? If you are…well, you know. How can I possibly help?” he wondered. The female in question sighed, her gaze staring out of the kitchen window as she tried to focus her thoughts- she already felt so drained-

“For whatever reason, you’re the only one that can see me- well, you and animals- but, while cute, they can’t really help me.”

“Help with what?”

“If I really am dead, I just need to piece together my memories- I can’t even remember who I am, and…I thought if I had some type of closure, I’d be able to well- rest- or whatever it is that happens when you die. I feel constantly drained and if I’m out to long or to far away from the area- I get pulled back, like something is dragging me- that’s what happened the night we first met. I had no control, I was just whisked away and it took, apparently a month, to be able to venture out again.”

Kyungsoo waited for her long-winded ramble to finish before speaking- though honestly, he was speechless, not exactly sure on how to go about this. His head felt dizzy and part of him just wished this was some lucid dream.

After discretely pinching himself- damn, he was awake- he focused back on the doe-eyed female, her expression was hopeless as tears rolled down her cheeks, she hadn’t even realized, or felt, that she was crying.

“Okay…” he huffed light, grasping at straws “well, we need to figure out a temporary name or something for you- since I can’t just refer to you as…” his voice trailed off, expression sheepish, she laughed weakly in response.

“um, I don’t know, do you have any ideas?” she asked curiously, and before he had time to process or filter himself, the word had already slipped past his heart-shaped lips.

“Cinnamon.”

Her head tilted in confusion at the sudden spice mentioned, he felt his cheeks flushing slightly as he cleared his throat, his hand rubbing the nape of his neck as he avoided her gaze.

“I uh, your eye color- they remind me of warm spiced cinnamon…” he confessed. A pleasant smile spread across her pouty lips at his admission, a small hum of agreement sounding softly.

“Alright, Cinnamon it is.”

__________________

In the following days, it was a process to become accustomed to his new…housemate, though sometimes she was able to appear in solid form they had quickly found out how much energy it took from her to do so- after it nearly caused her to be dragged back to where it was, she came from.

So, that was a no go.

Thankfully after a long rest, she was alright- as alright as she could be- and remained at the apartment. His dogs had taken a liking to her, funnily enough and Cinnamon in return felt the same- constantly cooing at how adorable and sweet they were.

Admittedly, Kyungsoo hadn’t been able to get started on helping her because work had been so busy, when he wasn’t stuck working until the dead of night he was rushing out- his coworkers Chanyeol and Baekhyun teasing him that he had a secret girlfriend he hadn’t told them about.

**If they only knew…**

Knowing those two- if they actually believed him- they’d be running for the hills or calling an exorcist. How the hell had this become his life?

“Today is the day” he announced after the usual routine of feeding and walking his fur babies- Cinnamon had come with them a few times, but after someone caught him talking to her, which made it look like he was talking to himself- she opted to only go with him when it wasn’t busy.

>b>Again- why him?

He was quiet and socially awkward at the best of times, it took him a long time to become used to someone, though he found himself easily becoming at ease with her soft, soothing presence- he knew he couldn’t allow himself to become emotionally attached, it’d only end with his heart breaking.

Cinnamon glided toward him, taking place next to him as he settled down on the couch- laptop open and waiting on the coffee table. He had opted for his glasses over contacts since he knew this was going to take awhile.

“I like your glasses; you should wear them more.” She commented lightly, soft smile across her lips. His face heated up in embarrassment as he fought off the smile threatening to make an appearance. Clearing his throat, he placed the laptop on his lap in order to keep himself busy.

“After trial and error, we’ve been able to figure out that you can’t leave past a certain area or your pulled back by- er- some kind of force. So that already narrows the area we have to look through. I’ve been looking through this map and so far there are three hospitals that you could have been brought to, two funeral parlors and one cemetery.”

As he spoke, he angled the laptop screen so she’d be able to see the places he mentioned, his gaze kept shifting towards her- making sure he wasn’t upsetting her, since this was…a sensitive topic.

“Now, I’ve checked obituaries dating back to when I first saw you that night- so far, I haven’t found anyone with your description…as far as trying to find medical records, they’re protected by confidentiality, since I’m not family and we don’t even know your actual name- I doubt they’re going to give me any information. I’m sorry I don’t have more to offer after my research.”

Cinnamon eyed the male before her, his brows knitted together in frustration- at himself- his heart lips formed into a sad pout, his squishy cheeks puffed out slightly as his gaze focused on the screen before him. If she could feel anything- she knew her heart would be fluttering.

Cinnamon knew she was lucky to have found someone like Kyungsoo, most people not only couldn’t see her but even if they had- would they had agreed to help some pathetic ghost girl, just out of the goodness of their hearts? The answer was sadly, no.

A part of her- a dark, broken side she tried to keep from festering- wishes she would have met him before her supposed death. She still couldn’t remember anything, but she knew she would’ve wanted someone like him in her life-

Admittedly, she could have seen herself falling in love with him easily. He was a gentle soul despite his hard exterior. During his dazed stupor the nickname she had silently referred to him as slipped out-

“Squishy-Soo”

His head shot up in surprise, owl-like eyes wide as he stared at her, though her cheeks couldn’t show it, she still flushed in embarrassment, shying away from his surprised gaze.

“I-“

“How did you know about that nickname?”

She closed her mouth, blinking in surprise.

“I didn’t…I thought I had just made it up- do others call you that?” she asked cheekily, the male in question turning away from her teasing expression. Mumbling something about a ‘happy virus’ and someone named Baekhyun.

“Do you not like it? I’m sorry-“

“No- I mean, if you want to call me that…it’s okay.” He muttered, determinedly keeping his gaze locked on the laptops screen.

How was he so cute?

“Anyway, I was thinking, since we haven’t had any luck with the internet- we can maybe go out and see if anything sparks any memories.”

“Are you sure?” Cinnamon asked worriedly, anxiety gripping at her- fear of being pulled away and unable to get back to Kyungsoo again made her hesitant. Noticing her trepidation, he closed the device while setting it gently on the coffee table before he turned to face her.

“I’ve mapped out exactly what your area of range is- I promise we won’t go beyond it, I won’t let anything happen to you, okay?” he murmured softly, eyes soft but determined- his baritone voice soothing down the nerves that had spiked.

“If you want, we can bring Pepper and Ink along- as extra protection.” He mused, his lips lifting into a mirthful smile that caused his cheeks to puffy out.

How could she possibly say no to that? So, with a cautious smile she nodded her head.

“Alright- only because Pepper and Ink are coming to.” She mused quietly.

__________________________

The four of them- Kyungsoo, Pepper, Ink and herself- had been walking around for almost two hours. Anytime she even had a feeling something was familiar he would stop and allow her to thoroughly search the area- never rushing her in the slightest.

Though he had only joked about bringing the toy poodles for ‘protection’ she was glad he had brought them along, though she couldn’t cuddle them like she had so desperately wanted to- just having them, and Kyungsoo- with her made her feel safe.

For the most part, when she would point something out to him, he’d only nod his head, letting her know he had heard her- it was a bit disheartening, that they couldn’t talk freely like when she was at his apartment.

Of course, she understood why- not wanting to attract unwanted attention if others noticed he appeared to be talking to himself. Thankfully the longer they were out and about, the less people mulled around- having other things to do then leisurely walk around.

Deciding to take a break, they found a quiet place under the merciful shade of a large gathering of tress- the park nearly empty, much to her relief. When Cinnamon noticed how tired both Kyungsoo and his fur babies seemed, she felt guilt gnaw away at her.

She was asking so much of him and he hadn’t wanted anything in return. She felt as if she didn’t deserve such kindness. Calm moments like these were fading- with each passing day she felt herself fading, it became harder to grasp the surroundings around her, that feeling of something trying to drag her away becoming more persistent.

The doe-eyed female knew that when this was all over- she’d have to say goodbye to Kyungsoo, and the thought of that hurt her more then the thought of actually being dead. She had become attached to the quiet male, craving his presence.

She didn’t want to say goodbye.

Without realizing it, tears had once again started to slip down her cheeks- Kyungsoo, ever observant- noticed right away, his brows furrowing in concern.

“Are you alright? I know we haven’t had any luck yet- but don’t lose hope, I promised you I’d help you and I intend to keep that promise.” He cooed gently, resisting the urge to try and brush her tears away since he knew his fingers would only pass through her, like she was nothing more then a wisp of smoke.

“I know” she replied, voice thick from hidden emotion, “Just got overwhelmed for a moment, I’m sorry.” She apologized; voice weary.

“You never have to apologize for that, I’m by your side- we all are” he gestured to the tired-out dogs, who rested peacefully on the warm grass, a wet laugh escaped her lips- fighting the urge to cry once more.

“Thank you, Squishy-Soo.”

She had done the worst thing she could ever do-

She had fallen in love with him. And she knew it would only end with her non-beating heart breaking.

_____________________________

After that day, something had changed between the pair- it was becoming harder for them hide their attachment, the bond that had formed and how easily they had fallen into the routine. Every moment Kyungsoo was at work, he was at Cinnamon’s side, even his dogs had become attached to the ghostly female-

**He was so fucked.**

Much to his friend’s confusion, he had pulled away from them- resorting with them either coming over unannounced yeah, that had been an interesting night or dragging him for some ‘friend bonding’. He still cared for them deeply, but the unshakable fear that had settled in his heart had remained rooted in place. Though Cinnamon tried to hide it, he saw that it was becoming harder each day for her to hold on-

Sometimes her gaze had become clouded and unfocused, like she was someplace far away, and he couldn’t reach her no matter how hard he tried. Or even a few times she had become unable to speak- not matter how hard she focused and tried to form the words, she had remained mute.

Kyungsoo stayed with her through it all, each time it passed- though neither would admit it- it only caused fear and anxiety to lurk ominously in the shadows. They had fallen, so deep it was impossible to dig their way back out.

At the moment he was setting up a movie for them to watch, obviously staying away from movies that might trigger her, such as horror films or movies that revolved around mourning and death. In the end, he put on ‘the secret life of pets’

When they had skimmed over titles, he saw the way her warm cinnamon eyed lit up when she saw the title- so obviously, that’s what he would watch. He opted for not eating or drinking in front of her- whether he was just being overly cautious or not, it felt odd being the only one to do so, no matter how much he loved cooking.

She curled up on the couch- hovering slightly above it- next to him, a slight chill washing over his skin- but he didn’t complain. Simply placing a blanket over his lap, plus the body heat radiating from Pepper and Ink as they also joined them on the comfy couch, helped too.

Kyungsoo found himself watching Cinnamon more so than the movie playing- he had seen it before and though it had genuinely been a great movie, the petite ghost next to him consumed his very being. Each time her eyes lit up in childlike joy or her sweet laughter softly filled the air- his heart would speed up.

His fingers fisting the blanket just to keep himself for foolishly wanting to reach out for her- Knowing it wouldn’t end well. He had noticed her looks of longing from time to time- directed at him- whether it was because she simply longed to have a physically body again- to feel the warmth of the sun or the softness of Pepper and Ink’s curly fur….or if there was a possibility that she too had begun to feel something towards him-

Ugh, he was an idiot.

“Soo?” he was suddenly pulled from his swirling thoughts as her gentle voice broke through the static in his mind. He blinked owlishly at her, having not realized the movie had ended during his reverie. To say he was mortified at being caught would be a vast understatement.

“Sorry, lost in thought- did you enjoy the movie?”

“Yes! It was so cute and funny- though I cried a few times too.” She laughed bashfully, a soft smile appeared on Kyungsoo’s face. The calm, content moment was short lived however when he saw her grit her teeth.

“Cinnamon?”

“sorry…ugh…I..” her voice was so faint, he had to strain to hear her, her silhouette seemed to fade in and out, bitter tears of frustration forming in her clouded eyes. His hands clenched into tight fists- there was nothing he could do to physically help her, all he could try to do was keep her grounded.

“Hey…Just listen to my voice okay? Cinnamon, you’re okay- I’m right here okay?” he soothed gently, to his credit- his voice remained calm and collected which was the complete opposite of the chaos thundering inside of him.

“You’re okay…it’s going to be okay” he whispered weakly.

__________________________

Five months- Kyungsoo had had her in his life for five months and already he couldn’t imagine his life without her being apart of it. But now, he was not only running out of ideas on how to help her, he was also running out of time.

Those episodes she went through were happening daily now, a few nights ago in a desperate attempt to help the doe-eyed female- he had tried to kiss her, trying to keep her grounded.

_The moment he had placed his lips over her ghostly ones- it was such an odd sensation. It felt like someone had drenched him with ice cold water- sucking all the warmth he had to offer out steadily. Cinnamon’s eyes slowly became clearer- wide in shock was she realized what had happen._

__

__

He recoiled quickly, apologizes already falling past his stuttering lips- he was so cold, frozen to the bone.

“Soo! Are you okay?!” she asked, panic clear in her voice as she watched the male nearly curl in on himself- his lips blue from the cold.

“D-don’t worry, I-I-I’m fine.” He tried to wave off her concern, but the next moment his body had crumpled to the floor like a ragdoll, quickly succumbing to darkness- the last thing he remembered hearing was her frantic voice, calling out his name.

When he had groggily opened his eyes, he found himself tucked in his bed under the covers. Pepper and Ink curled up on the other side of the mattress. He pinched the bridge of his nose; his head was throbbing but at least he had warmed up some.

“What were you thinking?!” he grimaced hearing the anger that laced her voice, slowly he turned his gaze towards her, dark strands of hair falling over her eyes- but he could still see the tears escaping. Had she really hated his touch that much?

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that- especially without your consent, I-“

“No! I didn’t mind that, but what it did to you- I was so scared! If something worse had happened, I wouldn’t have been able to call for help- all I could do was watch you possibly die! I…” a strangled sob escaped her pouty lips, he had never seen her this upset, through out the time they had gotten to know each other, it left him speechless.

“I was just trying to help-“

“Whatever happens to me- let it happen, because- and listen well Do Kyungsoo- nothing is worth you losing your life over, especially not for someone already dead.” her words sliced through his heart, he flinched at her tone. Jaw clenched shut.

It was a rare occurrence for the quiet male to get angry-truly angry- but he felt it bubbling underneath the surface.

“Who are you to decide for me what is and isn’t worth it? Because to me- anything having to do for you is more then worth it! I know it’s stupid and probably selfish but, you’ve gotten underneath my skin- you’ve consumed my entire being and just the thought that there’s going to be a day when you disappear out of my life…it’s agonizing. I love you- I love you so much that even though it’s painful, I’d still let you go if it meant you had peace and happiness.”

His mouth clamped shut, shocked with himself at his own confession, one he had planned keeping locked away until it took it to his own grave. Cinnamon remained silent, her doe eyes wide with unnamed emotions swirling through them.

“Please, say something- anything.” He pleaded.

“I love you too...” she mumbled, voice faint. Again, the male had been left speechless. after a few moments of tense silence, small huffs of laughter erupted from the pair-

Sometimes all you could do was laugh, or you’d drown crying.

“This is so…”

“Ridiculous?”

“yeah…I’m sorry for yelling.” He amended sheepishly. She simply shook her head, the tension and anger draining from the air.

“No, I’m glad you were honest…I’m also sorry.”

_Now that it was out in the open, they both knew there was no going back- the only question now, was where do they go from here?_

__________________________

After the ‘confession’ neither of them spoke about it- it was too painful knowing she was on borrowed time. Kyungsoo through himself into trying to find out anything he could to help her…move on. Cinnamon had finally recovered a few memories-

The park they had visited a couple of times turned out to be a place she had found solace in, memories flashing of the times she would spend nearly all day tucked away underneath the shade of trees, book in hand as the world faded around her. Or a little shop where she indulged in her fate boba tea- she could almost remember the taste at the vivid memory of it.

But none of them helped him to locate her or how she had gotten into the state she had been. He gnawed at his lower lip in thought, it was a last-ditch effort but perhaps the person he was thinking of could help him- at least give him a name so he could something to run with.

“K-Kyungsoo…” A pained groan sounded from the female as her ghostly form glided back and forth- as if she were pacing- he sprung to his feet, quickly making his way to her side- her pained expression causing worry and heartache.

“Cinnamon? What’s happening? Speak to me.” He tried to get her to say something- anything- but she merely whimpered in pain, curling in on herself on the floor, he kneeled by her side. At a loss on how he could help her.

“Images…” she gritted out, “flashing in my mind- Soo, they hurt.” She cried out, the commotion had even gotten the attention of Pepper and Ink who whined from across the room- they could tell something was wrong.

“maybe another memory is coming back?”

“but the others didn’t hurt like this- it feels like my head is splitting open.” Her voice slurred in pain, eyes cloudy and the far-away look had returned as she continued to writhe in pain. His hands reached out for her- even if he couldn’t hold onto her translucent form, he wanted to comfort her.

The moment his fingers brushed through her wispy dress- a loud gasp fell from his lips. Pain radiated from his body, consuming him completely. His eyes screwed shut, the next moment when he was able to open them, they were no longer in his living room.

He could hear heavy rain thundering, pelting against a nearby window- where was he?

_____________________

**_“Get back here!” a rageful voice shouted, pure malicious dripping in his tone. A petite female with fearful doe-eyes ran through the destroyed home-_ **

**_Glass shards littered the floor everywhere, bloody footprints left behind as the tiny pieces continue to pierce and dig themselves into her delicate skin. Her adrenaline was rushing through her veins- she barely felt a thing._ **

**_Her blouse was ripped open, hanging off her shoulder, tiny cuts forming all over her body and she felt bruises forming- the side of her face already swollen from a previous blow. A large man raced through the house after her- his expression murderous._ **

**_Without a moments hesitation the bulky man had grabbed hold of a vase, hurling it in her direction- it was her mistake to look back, in that moment it collided on the top of her head, smashing upon impact, a large piece digging deeply across her forehead._ **

**_A startled yelp passed through her cracked, bloody lips as her body sprawled out against the floor- more glass cutting into her aching body. She didn’t have a chance to scramble back up before she felt a sharp, burning pain- followed back a sickening crack echoing through the night._ **

**_An agonized pain ripped from her throat, fresh tears pouring down her cheeks- the man had stomped down on her calf, shattering the bone. His stubby fingers instantly tangled themselves in her blood-matted locks, forcing her head up so that he could stare her in the eye-_ **

**_Fear and dread clear in her expression. He sneered as he kneeled down, his knee digging into the middle of her back- she was terrified that with his weight on top of her, he’d end up snapping her spine in half._ **

**_This was her fault- she shouldn’t have angered him while he had been drinking so heavily. She knew how violent he could get, but she had had enough of the person she was supposed to look up to- become a monster. The man before her was a stranger, no longer was he her father._ **

**_“You wanna try running your mouth again? Huh? Such brats, thinking they can say whatever the hell they want without consequence!” his words slurred so much, she could barely understand what was being said, the sinking feeling that this was going to be how she died gripped her heart-_ **

**_Alone and unloved, in utter agony._ **

**_“Answer me when I speak to you, Nari!” he screamed in her face, the stink of alcohol and smoke burning her nostrils. She tried to flinch away, but his vice-like grip kept her in place._ **

**_“I-I’m sorry!” she sobbed, just wanting this to end. Please- make it stop!_ **

**_“Liar, I don’t believe you.” His fingers untangled themselves from her hair, instead wrapping around her throat as he hauled her into the air- slamming her battered and bruised body into the wall opposite of them._ **

**_“Y-You think your better than me! You and every other bitch! Telling me what to do- how to act- after all I do, if I want to have a couple of damn drinks- I will!”_ **

**_Thunder clapped loudly- though barely drowning out his rage, a strike of lightning lighting up the pitch-black house- Nari didn’t see a person when she saw her father-_ **

**_All she was rage mixed with pure maliciousness- he had no heart._ **

**_At some point, he had picked up a jagged piece of the vase he had smashed against her head, digging it into the side of her torso- dragging it slowly until it wrapped around her back. Her screams echoed loudly- bouncing off the walls-_ **

**_She couldn’t speak, it felt like the air had been knocked out of her lungs and she was unable to bring breath back into them. Was this really how she was going to die? Terrified and alone? At the hands of the man who was supposed to love and support her as she tried to make her own path through such a chaotic world?_ **

**_Dark crimson liquid spluttered out of her mouth, her vision blurring- the adrenaline in her system fading- she thought she heard some sort of banging followed by shouts, but she was sure. She felt her body slip from his grasp and thud roughly onto the ground below._ **

**_She was so cold- and numb- it was better than the unbearable pain, she supposed. With one last shuddering breath her eyes slipped shut and darkness consumed her._ **

________________

Kyungsoo shot away from her, stumbling backwards as he landed on his butt, eyes wide and full of tears that streamed down his face- staring at the shuddering girl without blinking.

It never had crossed his mind that she had been through something as painful- as cruel- as he had witnessed, and by her own father no less. Anger filled his veins, he wasn’t a violent person, but after what he had seen, done to a person so kind and gentle as her-

Well, everyone has a breaking point.

A exhaled deeply, eyes clenched shut as he tried to reign himself in. Him going into a rage was the last thing she needed-

Nari….her name was Nari.

Hesitantly, he called out her name softly, it felt foreign on his lips “…Nari?...Cinnamon?”

A sob wracked through her body, the first of many loud sobs falling past her lips. His heart broke at the sight, carefully he settled down next to her once more.

“It’s okay- you’re okay, he’s not here. That man will never hurt you again-“

“H-he took everything from me! I-I, could have done so much more! S-so much more…” she wailed, everything crashing down around her- she felt so lost, the tugging feeling growing stronger. Kyungsoo remained by her side, silently allow Nari to cry it out- her expression hopeless.

“I-I…Don’t wanna go…” she whimpered, the owl-eyed male kept his mouth shut, but he couldn’t have agreed more.

He didn’t want her to leave him.

____________

Kyungsoo paced irritably up and down the corridor, he felt two sets of eyes following his every movement but paid it no mind in this moment. Since that…memory, had been recovered, Cinn-…Nari had been in some sort of sleeplike trance, simply hovering in the same spot- eyes closed, not responding to any of his attempts to bring her out of it.

He couldn’t imagine how drained she must be- he himself felt like he needed to go into hibernation to recover from the event. His fingers tugged at his hair angrily. He needed to keep focused- do something productive instead of picturing her father’s slow, painful death.

He knew what he had to do; he just didn’t like it. He stalked over into the living room, picking up his discarded phone as he dialed a phone number.

“…Hey, Baekhyun- yes, I know it’s been a while…I’ve been dealing with something…look I can’t explain right now, but…your roommate- he’s a detective, right?”

__________________

The moment Baekhyun had opened the door to his apartment, Kyungsoo rushed in- his hair unkempt from how many times he had run his fingers through it, dark circles forming underneath his eyes. He swayed on his feet a couple times- he was running on empty.

The puppy-eyed male gazed at him worriedly, the anger he had felt since Kyungsoo had pulled away from him and Chanyeol subsiding.

“Soo? What happened, are you okay?”

“I…I’m fine, is Yixing here?” he would make everything up to him and Chanyeol later- right now his main focus was the doe-eyed female that needed his help. Pouting Baekhyun nodded as he went to go fetch said male, a couple of moments later a tall, dimpled man stepped into the entryway.

“Hello, you must be Kyungsoo! Baek talks about you a lot.” He smiled softly, noting how haggard the shorter male looked. He gestured for him to take a seat, the other obliged stiffly settling down in the armchair across from their couch.

“Baek told me you needed some help…can you tell me what’s going on?” he encouraged gently. Kyungsoo sighed wearily, trying to gather his muddled thoughts.

“There’s a person I’ve been trying to find…Something happened, and I need to know what happened to her.” He confessed, choosing his words carefully. Yixing frowned, brows furrowed.

“Okay…Do you have her name?”

“I…Only her first name- but I can give you a description if it helps.”

The elder of the two nodded, getting out a pad of paper and a pen. “ready when you are.”

“okay…her name is Nari, I think she’s around 23-24 years old…she has a petite build, shoulder length black hair, cinnamon brown eyes…”

Yixing froze, he eyes Kyungsoo carefully before gently placing the pen down. Kyungsoo looked at him confusedly,

“I…I think I know who it is you’re looking for.”

_____________________

Nari jolted awake, she felt drained and despite still hovering- it felt like something was weighing her down. It was hard to move, slowly she made her away through the apartment- no sign of Kyungsoo anywhere.

Pepper and Ink watched as she searched for him, their ears perked up in attention.

“Soo?’

….

“Kyungsoo?”

Nothing, he wasn’t there- where had he gone? It was nearly impossible to hold on, the tugging sensation now persistently pulls at her. Tears brimmed her eyes- she couldn’t leave, not now-

Not before saying goodbye.

“Kyungsoo!” she cried softly, her ghostly body crumpling on the floor. She didn’t want to leave this world alone- she wanted to see him one last time-

His heart shaped lips and squishy cheeks, his owl-shaped eyes….the warmth that never seemed to fade from his presence or the way he got shy so easily…Damn it.

**She loved him.**

Strained breaths left her mouth, she gritted her teeth- trying to hold on for as long as possible, just for one last glimpse before she was forced to say goodbye. Her wish, however, fell on deaf ears-

No matter how much she fought against it, she lost the battle. Everything around her began to blur and piercing static filled her ears, she couldn’t even make out Pepper or Ink anymore-

Once again, she was forced to face this alone…the only solace were the memories she had formed with Kyungsoo. Her lips formed a somber smile, tears trickling down as she resigned herself to whatever happened.

“K-Kyungsoo…goodbye.” She mumbled, as she faded from the apartment, being brought back to wherever her fate had planned.

_____________________

“You know who she is? Are you sure?”

Yixing nodded slowly, a soft sigh escaping his lips as he stood up from his seat, padding quietly out of the room for a brief moment before returning. Baekhyun who had becoming curious followed behind the taller male.

“I was the detective assigned to her case…I thought I had stepped into a horror film scene.” He shuddered, passing Kyungsoo the file. The male bypassed most of what had been written- seeing it firsthand for himself, he didn’t need to relive it.

“Mun Nari…” he mumbled, hands grasping the stack of papers tightly.

“Was this the one you were telling me about, Xing?” Baekhyun asked softly, the dimpled-man nodded stiffly, A frown appeared on Baek’s face.

“How do you know her?” he asked.

“It’s…complicated.” He replied, his throat felt bone dry, but he needed to ask- he needed to know.

“Where was she buried?” He asked, voice full of trepidation. This caused both males to share expressions of puzzlement.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean- After she died, she was buried, right?”

“…Kyungsoo, she’s not buried anywhere-“

“what do you mean?” his heart was pounding, a tiny fledgling of hope blossoming in his heart. Yixing rested his elbows on his knees as he spoke.

“Last time I checked in on her, she was comatose- but alive. She was very lucky, if the police had arrived any later then she did, we’d be having a different conversation.”

Kyungsoo opened and closed his mouth several times, a tsunami of emotions erupting from within- he was unable to keep himself from openly weeping- shocking the other two with his reaction. Baekhyun quickly went to his friend’s side, wrapping a comforting arm around his shoulders.

Whatever his connection to this girl was- it was obvious she meant to great deal to him. He continued to hold the weeping male until his tears slowed down and he gently pulled himself from the embrace, wiping away the last of his tears, ignoring how embarrassing that had been.

“Where…” he swallowed thickly, “where is she?”

_____________________

His lungs screamed in protest, begging for him to stop- he hadn’t listened- the moment he had gotten the information of where Nari was, he abruptly ran out of their apartment, quickly promising Baekhyun he’d call him later.

He ignored his burning legs and lungs as he booked it back to his apartment- she was alive.

Nari was alive!

The small blossom of hope continued to grow at a rapid speed within his heart, taking root and refusing to let go.

After fumbling with his keys, he slammed the door open- his fur babies jumping up from the sudden bang of the door against the wall.

“Nari!” he called through ragged breaths, tearing through the apartment looking for her.

“Nari! I- you- there’s good news!” he panted, halting in confusion, where was she? Fear reared its ugly head, his heart sinking in dread. She should have been here, she wouldn’t just leave- not without saying goodbye.

Not willingly, anyway.

He cursed as he rushed back out of the door, locking it before running like a bat out of hell.

“Please, please hold on for me” he pleaded, pushing himself to go faster- he wasn’t going to let this one chance slip past him. Putting himself out there, allowing the vulnerability past his sturdy defenses-

It was terrifying, but the thought of not doing anything, of losing Nari when they had a fighting chance. Well, that was worse-

**Don’t leave me.**

_____________________

Dirty glares were shot his way after he nearly collided with several different people in his haste into the hospital’s front desk. Normally- the thought of causing a disruption, or being disrespectful would make his skin crawl-

But well, adrenaline was pumping through his system and he’d just have to apologize after the fact.

He pushed his way to the front of the short line, disgruntled complaints being hurled his way. The leaned against the desk heavily, trying to catch his breath- sweat formed along his forehead, through large gasps of breaths he forced himself to speak.

“I…Where’s Mun Nari’s room?”

The secretary stared blankly at the panting male for a moment, when she noticed the desperation in his eyes she sighed, typing on the computer, her eyes scanning hospital patient records.

“Looks like she’s in the ICU ward…room 4012-“

The moment he knew the room number, he was off again- bypassing the elevator as she ran up four flights of stairs- Lord, after this his legs were going to disintegrate.

It’d be worth it a thousand times over.

Once he was out of the stairwell, he stumbled his way through the hall, continuing to receive odd looks, his gaze focused on the passing room numbers as he searched for room 4012. At the end of the hall, he noticed a large group of nurses and doctors- his heart faltered when he realized it was Nari’s room they were in front of.

“what’s going on here!?” he nearly shouted, honestly, he wouldn’t have been surprised if his heart gave out any moment. Several nurses startled by his sudden appearance.

“S-Sir, you can’t go inside right now- Sir!” she protested when the male didn’t heed her words, pushing his way inside the room. He saw as another nurse had just pulled out an intubation tube, Nari’s frail body spluttering and convulsing, pulling at the tubes and wires still connected.

“What are you doing!?” he hissed, a man in a long white coat looked up, shock briefly passing through his expression.

“You can’t be in here- someone get him out of here.” He snapped, Kyungsoo felt several pairs of arms tried to pull him out of the way but he fought them off, once he was beside her hospital bed he collapsed on his knees, tears flowing freely.

“Please…Please don’t leave me” he wept, whispering into her ear. Missing the passing looks the medical team gave each other.

“We’ve done all we can do for her, now she has to be the one to pull herself through.” The doctor explained softly, patting Kyungsoo’s shoulder before gesturing to the staff to give him some space.

The owl-eyed male barely registered their words, everything except for Nari fading out. Soft murmurs, pleading for her to fight- to stay with him- slipping past his lips.

“Please, Nari- I love you…” he confessed once again, placing a tender kiss on her forehead- never leaving her side in the process.

____________________

Was…someone crying? Nari strained to focus on the soft movement beside her- her eyes still to heavy to open, but slowly her the fog that wrapped around her mind began to clear, a soft baritone voice speaking softly into her ear.

She knew that voice anywhere- but...wasn’t she dead? how was he here?

With great effort, the doe-eyed female got her eyes to open, the light stinging her irritated eyes. Her body felt lethargic and heavy- achy pain shooting through her body- her throat raw. She turned her head slightly to find Kyungsoo on his knees, head buried into the mattress of the bed, his hands clasped tightly around one of hers.

His body trembling as he sobbed quietly. Silently she squeezed his hand causing the males head to shoot up. His eyes red and puffy from his tears. They stared at each other for a few moments, both overwhelmed by everything that had happened.

“Squishy-Soo..” She croaked out; voice rough from lack of use but it didn’t stop the bright smile that overtook her expression. A few tears slipping down her cheek. Silently Kyungsoo brushed them away before his hand gently cupped her face in his warm hands.

She was here- her warmth seeping into his skin. Though she looked exhausted and frail from the trauma she had endured- Kyungsoo had never been so smitten. Her warm cinnamon eyes locked with his dark coal eyes.

Neither wanting to look away, afraid if they did everything would be ripped away.

“Nari…you’re here- you’re alive” he murmured tenderly.

“I promise you- no one is going to hurt you again. I will be by your side for however long you’ll have me.”

“…What if I want you with me forever?”

He laughed softly; voice hoarse from crying.

“Then I’m with you, forever and always- Pepper and Ink too.”

“I can’t wait to cuddle them.” She confessed, tone full of mirth.

They still had a long way to go from here, but no matter what they had to face- or explain to a certain pair of friends- the pain and fear that had gripped them both so tightly- they’d face it all, together. Nothing would keep them away from each other now.

“I love you.”

“Me too, Soo, I love you so much.” she replied weepily.

Kyungsoo leaned in, placing his lips gingerly against hers, his heart brimming with warmth as they moved their lips in sync in a content kiss, basking in the warmth the mingled together as one, already he was addicted to her soft pouty lips. She eagerly returned the kiss, her hands fisting the front of his shirt, a small sigh of content leaving her lips.

All of this may have started as an odd twist of fate- but now, this was not the end- it was only the beginning of their story.


End file.
